"I've used hammers made out of wood. I have played games with pieces and rules. I've undeciphered tricks at the bar, but now you're gone."
Halloween weekend has fallen upon New York with less fervor than I remember. A friend turned 25 today and I realized I wasn't far away. Scary thought to be honest. In a month and a half, I would've lived a quarter of a century.
Get serious. Pay attention. "Scary thought" is right. It is FUCKIN' frightening. Not that I'm growing older and its a small step toward the end... or "one day i'll die" - no. I'm not afraid of any of that bullshit. I'm talking about whats already past. Its done. Finished. You can't change that. I'll never be 11 again. I'll never be 21 again. EVER. (Religious zealots fuck off right now).
I will never do SO many things "for the first time" ever again. Don't tell me the obvious bullshit - "oh! but Morrie - there's so much to look forward to" - yea yea... I know. I'm not talking about the future. Its becoming clearer very quickly how important it is to justify having lived the way you lived. Not because its saddening, or depressing but because its fucking scary!
My checklist for 25:
1. Did I have an emotive and memory intensive childhood? Check.
2. Make terrific friends along the way? Check.
3. Drink and smoke at a reasonable age? Check.
4. Lost virginity at a reasonable age? Check. (though I think its growing back)
5. Have a job I'm happy with and proud of? Check.
Ok. Good... (sigh).
Back to work.
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7 comments:
Go see Sonia in California. not checked.
hahahahaha!
hahahahhahahahaha... growing back again.. oh man i swear i havent laughed like this in a fucking eternity... !!!.... u crack me up bro.. and yeah ur not that far away... u will me assimalated...
Quarter of a century.... my thoughts exactly.. looks like I'm due a pretty depressing post myself!
My thoughts exactly!! I just turned.. well, another yr older.. this Sunday.. and I think I better make my own checklist and see where I stand with more than half my life behind me.. trouble is, I think I won't end up saying "OK. Good".. Hmmm..
Well Ruchika, albeit delayed, I suppose a "Happy Birthday" is due. More than half your life behind you? I would only say that if I were 45. Don't drum down on stupid things. Think of a 4-5 key things you want or are happy with - and those are your goals. The good thing about identifying the simple things now is - you can come up with some real complicated shit to screw up the next 25!
Rock on...
its for the reaction i leave it bare.. best left without any preconcieved directions..
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