Indifference

I encourage all to read these words and buy/download the song.

Indifference

I will light the match this morning, so I won't be alone.
Watch as she lies silent, soon night will be gone.
Oh... I will stand arms outstretched, pretend I'm free to roam
Oh... I will make my way, through one more day...
yeahhh...

How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?

I will hold the candle, till it burns up my arm.
Oh.. I'll keep taking punches until their will grows tired.
Oh... I will stare the sundown until my eyes go blind.
Yeah... I won't change direction and I won't change my mind.

How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?

I'll swallow poison, until I grow immune.
I will scream my lungs out, till it fills this room.

How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?

- Pearl Jam

Honestly, in all my years of reading various literary works and listening to a diverse range of music - these are perhaps the most influential words I've ever heard. This is a strong claim considering what all I've seen - but its true. It is, perhaps, purely circumstancial and some may read these words and shrug their shoulder - "umm.. k" being their only reaction.

But its not just the words - its the song - the way Eddie sings it. The undertone. The background music. The importance of the words shines through in his voice. And it all culminates in a blow straight to my chest.

More importantly its the association this band and its music has for me. I remember Joytan introducing me to Pearl Jam - before I really started listening to music. 'Alive' and 'Porch' were their first songs I ever heard. 'Release' followed soon after. Honestly - a song that'll make you cry - "I'll wait up, in the dark... for you to speak to meeee" - oh man!

Post Joytan's introduction and my subsequent indulgence, I found this to be a favorite common ground for Arun and I (amongst 2 billion others). But when we started jamming to this stuff - it was almost like we entered a different world. Within those four walls - Arun masterfully trying hit the right chords on the guitar and I barely being able to measure up to Eddie's voice. This is when we laughed. It wasn't funny. No. It was just so satisfying that we laughed. What else does one do when you are fully content. Smile? yeah... we laughed. We loved it. We didn't need clever quips on ignoramus individuals (as that usually is the case) to laugh.

These are the memories that I hope I'm never stripped of. These are the benchmarks I will use to identify levels of happiness on a going-forward basis. Right from crouching in front of Joy's laptop to jamming at Arun's.

June 3rd is so far away.