Hope

I have been faced with an opportunity to take a risk over the last several days.

And here I stand, poised, with my first real decision. And when I look back at all my decisions in the past, I realize how well protected I have been from all potential negative consequences. I have always had family to rely on, great advice to lean on and a future to look forward to. And now I stand at a path forking into two.

One path bears the overwhelmingly standardized "you know where this road will take you" welcome sign at its doorstep, while the other says "Who knows? Could be awesome." The decision is mine to take, and the consequences mine to bear.

At 24 years of age, I can no longer rely on someone else's presumed benefit to myself. I have to know it. The best advice I've gotten so far said, "this is it Aman - this is where you realize that whatever whoever says is based on their interpretation of a situation and their presumed understanding of where it will take you, and thats not necessarily right for you."

True.

I knew that already, just needed to hear it from someone else. I'm not helpless - I just have to help myself. My mom's voice echoes in my head as I write that: "God only helps those who help themselves". God. Fate. Destiny. Blame yourself for all that went wrong and praise him for all that is right. Of course, and again, right or wrong - subjective isn't it? Of course it is.

If dreams were like clouds -forseeable, distant, seemingly predictable, tangible yet not graspable -then I am one of those who look forward to soaking themselves in the rain they'll hopefully bring after a long, tiresome drought.

And there it is... hope.