It is my sincere request to all my viewers visit this blog and write comments asking the owner to do some research regarding Indian Art History. You may also point out that he/she is a spastic.
These people need to hear that they are morons.
http://vivekajyoti.blogspot.com/2006/03/protesting-auction-of-m-f-husains.html
Thank you.
June 29, 2006
June 23, 2006
Shaded...
As I stood at Gate 20, waiting to board my flight back to
Nonetheless, the woman in front wore a green-ish sari, very typical and simple and was constantly smiling and making jokes in hindi to her husband. They must've been in their 40's, no doubt ending a short trip in D.C.
Amidst all these people, most of which were professionals, shuttling between New York and D.C. (as I do), here stood this very 'Indian' couple. Not only very Indian - but very
There is a noteworthy difference between wearing D&G Bumble-bee shades above your forehead thereby making some sort of fashion statement and wearing a plain pair of shades above your head as a convenience. This lady wore it as a convenience. The typical Aunty style - right on top, serving two essential purposes. (1) It kept her hair back so they wouldn't fall all over her face while she committed herself to the current task of boarding her flight. (2) It was blazing hot outside, so in a second's notice, she could bring them down to serve the purpose they were invented for. Brilliant.
She then pulled out an Ericsson phone, one of those bricks that serve 30 functions, only 2 of which will really ever be used. Ahhh... but wait... can't see the screen -out came the reading glasses from her bag.
Lady: "Anilllll.... what the bloody hell is this? Sameer has just sent a text but I can't see it"
Evidently Anil: "Uffff... why do you buy these complicated things if you're never going to learn to use it baba...."
Lady: "Arre... if you don't teach me then how will I learn baba..?"
Anil: "Read the manual... there's a reason the phone comes with one"
Lady: "But the manual's at home ya... and I don't have the patience so just tell me"
Anil: "I don't have patience for you... achha... do you have the boarding passes"
Lady: "Yes baba... no need to get so hysterical for no reason"
Anil: "Hysterical? ... I just asked you a question... ismae hysterical ki kya baat hai"
Lady: "Achha shuttup now... I have to read Sameer's message"
Anil: (sigh)... *shakes head*
Behind them stood a 24 year old man, thrown back to his Delhi days with a severe longing to be home. All it took was 5 minutes of watching this couple and I had an awkward affection for them - more as a sincere "thank you".
I got on the flight and flew home. I have three homes. The one dearest to my heart,
I hope Joy's able to make it out to
June 12, 2006
Alive
June 3rd, 2006East Rutherford, New Jersey - Continental Airlines Arena
(Home of the NJ Nets and the NJ Devils)
Pearl Jam ended the first leg of its 2006 tour here in the "greater" New York area. Karan flew down from San Francisco for the concert. I had tickets (see earlier posts) through the "Tenclub". The only entity that I am a fan club member of - Pearl Jam.
It has taken me a while to write this blog. It seems I am unable to find the appropriate words to express what I went through for those 4 hours. I still haven't found them. There are no adjectives to define the euphoria ... of being in the presence of Pearl Jam performing live, 20 yards away. This is my definition, rather my version, of a musical utopia. A field of dreams... where your dreams are actually realized. They're beyond a "band" to me. They're beyond rockstars. They are the last, of a dying era.
Scores of people had pulled in from everywhere, most were tail-gaiting outside the arena. Playing Pearl Jam songs and throwing footballs around. Karan and I smelt the beef, chicken and pork on the grills and were hungry instantly. We got our tickets from the booth, got a T-shirt each... and waited around looking at the crowd. I had no clue what to expect inside. This being my first concert - ever. (I'm not including a performance by Itzahk Perlman that I attended in Lincoln Center).
Vedder, considered by many, including myself to epitomize the word "cool", spent the entire night, singing, playing the guitar, sweating, rocking, drinking his wine (straight from the bottle of course) and smoking his cigarettes. I have never seen Stone Gossard dance before (in any videos or pictures). He danced a lot. Mike McCready was on fire, jamming and running all over the stage - absolutely phenomenal performance. Matthew Cameron... wow... he had a tremendous night too. My camera sucks, for some reason I wasn't able to zoom in enough and it always made the stage and the band friggin' tiny. But I decided to pose two of the pictures anyway. Once I take the 5 minutes necessary to figure out how to put up a 165 MB video - I'll do that too.
Here's what I didn't expect. I didn't expect the turnout (crowd) - since PJ had performed 2 days ago in the same arena. Apparently that wasn't a full house (or so I've heard). The arena was absolutely packed. Of course we were on the floor so it looked like everyone was rocking, while that may not be the case (i'd imagine the people in the nose-bleed sections might've had a hard time). I didn't expect the sound to be so clear, whenever I could hear them over Karan's singing... (sigh). I didn't expect Vedder to be drinking and smoking on stage (although I knew for a fact that he is known to be sloshed by the last song - but I always envisioned him getting wasted before taking the stage). But what surprised me - and what blew my mind was them 'being' a band. A rock band. The last rock band as far as I'm concerned.I've performed on stage several times now, and have a decent idea about performing in front of audiences. Sure, the largest crowd I've performed in front of was about 5,000 (while PJ performed in front of 20,000 that night). Nevertheless, I remember how hard we practiced just so we were "together". Just so people came in at the right time, we sounded right... we hit the right notes, we sang the right words, we moved together, we were in... well... unison. And we were 'ok' when we performed. Pearl Jam executed each and e-v-e-r-y song with masterful precision - a clear sign of undeniable experience and dedication. I was thrown off my feet, as they moved from song to song absolutely perfectly. Here is the set list:
Open
No Surrender - Bruce Springsteen song performed solely by Eddie with an Acoustic guitar.
Set 1
Severed Hand
Corduroy - absolutely phenomenal performance
World Wide Suicide
Hail Hail
Animal - they had electricity problems which Eddie blamed Bruce Springsteen for.
Love Boat Captain
In Hiding
Even Flow
I Am Mine
Whipping
Gone
Comatose
State of Love and Trust
Rats
Garden
Inside Job
Porch - awesome slow version. Very unlike the record version - truly awesome.
Encore 1
Army Reserve
Hard To Imagine
Last Kiss - the crowd really got into this song - everyone did.
Black - absolutely fantastic. Beautifully sung... we sang till our throats hurt... and then some.
Crazy Mary - the most amazing version - I actually cried during this song. Read below for more on this one.
Last Exit
Encore 2
Wasted Reprise
Life Wasted
Lukin
Leash
Don't Gimme No Lip
Why Go
Leaving Here
Alive - truly amazing
Yellow Ledbetter - which tailed off into 'Star Spangled Banner' played by McCready, Hendrix style.
The cover band was called "My Morning Jacket". They were good except for the singer - he would go into an extremely high-pitched (ear hurting) voice a little too often. But they had some very good music and were very remniscent of older famous bands.
After years of deliberation, I have concluded that my top 5 favorite songs of Pearl Jam (in no particular order) are: Crazy Mary, Black, Release, Alive & Indifference. To hear 3/5 of these... LIVE... has been a life-changing event. PJ were assisted by Boom Gaspar (a Hammond Organ player) on some of their songs, including Crazy Mary. This song is absolutely amazing and to hear it live was an experience on its own. Now, I'm not gonna lie - but Music and Movies always move me... emotionally. But nothing has made me cry yet... Fucker Vedder successfully drew a tear out of me during Crazy Mary. And to top it off the hair on the back of my neck rose when McCready walked across the stage to Boom and they jammed for about 5 minutes - it was unbelieveable. I don't care much for the organ as an instrument (sort of has an Addam's Family feel to it) but to watch these two go at it was awesome. McCready, in my books, has elevated himself to become one of the greatest guitarists. At times, he would get in the zone by standing at attention, closing his eyes, looking up... and playing... awesome - those were great moments.
More awesome moments - at one point the lights on stage suddenly dimmed and Vedder stood in the middle of stage facing and jamming to the drums... his back to the crowd. The music had subsided to a low volume but rigorously being played... the drumming got louder and more intense as Eddie began to raise his guitar... higher and higher... until it was way over his head... the band continued to play and the music was at full volume again. Vedder was shinning the light from the lonely spotlight... onto the crowd. Wherever he shone the light, that part of the crowd erupted into a chaotic and adoring cheer. It was awesome.
We came out of this concert, sweating, tired, energized and moved. Both Karan and I couldn't believed that were just witness to this unbelievable time. All we did was recount every single moment from the concert. "hey... you know when vedder did.. this!"... haha! Of course i do! I was right there with you!... we did it to each other nonetheless. We needed to tell someone else... fucker Arun didn't answer his phone.
Something important needs to be said now. While we waited for 1 of 50 buses to take us back to New York City, Karan mentioned U2 and a concert of their's that he went for which didn't even compare to this one. He described a catwalk, that circled through the audience and back to the stage, upon which Bono would walk around singing. Now... I like U2 and I like they're songs... but I didn't care for the catwalk shit. I can't even imagine Eddie, putting on leather pants, a blue velvet shirt, orange goggles with a headset instead of a mic... or mic-stand... walking around singing to the crowd. Thats just too fucking Britney Spears for me. And thats what I mean by PJ being the last rock band out there. They are the last of an unfortunately dying era... when rockers would hit the stage and liberate viewers by liberating themselves. There is nothing liberating about whats out there now.
In my 24 years of existence, this concert has become one of my favorite moments. It is grounded in, and will influence in many ways the rest of my life. How and why is not the point. I whole-heartedly hope (ah.. that dangerous word again) that everyone has a defining moment like this... early in their lives.
Godspeed.
June 02, 2006
BoD... (contd.)
Punjab, Nagaland, Goa and most recently Tamil Nadu have BANNED the release of the Da Vinci Code.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/5036094.stm
I'm past the stage where shock and disbelief tied my hands behind my back and my words fail me. Perhaps it is time that we accept certain nuances of American Political psychology/culture. Perhaps it is time... we embraced them.
I have never been a fan of American Political Culture (not that India's political characteristics are something to be particularly proud of..) but nonetheless - I find it a little sickening. I almost kneel over every time I hear a politician in the U.S. throw out those stupid phrases - "Liberty..." and "freedom" for all. It is preached in the alleways and yelled from the rooftops "freedom to speak!"... "freedom to express!"... "freedom to think!".... "freedom to invade sovereign states!" ...oops.
These are their civil liberties. Their Bill of Rights. How much of this is actually afforded to them - is questionable. But you know what? It works. These freedoms for the most part ARE afforded to their citizens. People in this country live under the impression (whether falsely or otherwise is irrelevant) that they have these rights but MOST importantly that because they have these rights - other citizens have these rights to. Now bear with me. I'm going to ignore states like Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama etc. These are like the Bihar's of America. The idea here is that the awareness of your rights AND your fellow citizens rights is what I like about this country. This is a concept that is lacking in India. ME and MYSELF is all that exists.
Our communal riots, though spurred by wicked politicians are still mostly attributable to an emotional and unstable public. Sure, you can blame the politicians. But they are merely taking advantage of an obvious rift. Wholistically, we are bound only by our Patriotism. Even in our metropolitan cities there is a severe lacking in our civic sense. There is a blatant disregard for other citizens and this comes in all forms - whether casteism, stature-ism etc. etc.
Please note that I don't praise the U.S. for much - but this cohesiveness - amongst their citizens (whether misguided, wrong or right - is irrelevant) is something that I do give them credit for. I don't care how they achieved it and I don't care what they use it for... they have it. All else is inconsequential. And it is something I envision for India. I don't see it yet. Maybe because I'm not there. But acts like this aren't very encouraging.
In the end, its disheartening to see Movies, CLEARLY stating that they are fiction, being banned because a religious group claimed that they will riot. This says nothing about a responsible State Government. It speaks volumes, however, about the perceived irresponsibility of the public. It speaks VOLUMES about the Government's lack of faith in their citizens' ability to accept and/or ignore and/or appreciate ANYTHING that hints at a contradiction in their current beliefs. The Brethren of Dolts runs deeper than I had imagined. They are more than a Brotherhood. They are part of the fucking system... (sigh)
Tamil Nadu? - don't they have one of the highest literacy rates? what the fuck is going on? I will ponder on a solution, albeit, I have a strong feeling there is none. Perhaps my acceptance of morons will set an example.
(impossible)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/5036094.stm
I'm past the stage where shock and disbelief tied my hands behind my back and my words fail me. Perhaps it is time that we accept certain nuances of American Political psychology/culture. Perhaps it is time... we embraced them.
I have never been a fan of American Political Culture (not that India's political characteristics are something to be particularly proud of..) but nonetheless - I find it a little sickening. I almost kneel over every time I hear a politician in the U.S. throw out those stupid phrases - "Liberty..." and "freedom" for all. It is preached in the alleways and yelled from the rooftops "freedom to speak!"... "freedom to express!"... "freedom to think!".... "freedom to invade sovereign states!" ...oops.
These are their civil liberties. Their Bill of Rights. How much of this is actually afforded to them - is questionable. But you know what? It works. These freedoms for the most part ARE afforded to their citizens. People in this country live under the impression (whether falsely or otherwise is irrelevant) that they have these rights but MOST importantly that because they have these rights - other citizens have these rights to. Now bear with me. I'm going to ignore states like Mississippi, Arkansas and Alabama etc. These are like the Bihar's of America. The idea here is that the awareness of your rights AND your fellow citizens rights is what I like about this country. This is a concept that is lacking in India. ME and MYSELF is all that exists.
Our communal riots, though spurred by wicked politicians are still mostly attributable to an emotional and unstable public. Sure, you can blame the politicians. But they are merely taking advantage of an obvious rift. Wholistically, we are bound only by our Patriotism. Even in our metropolitan cities there is a severe lacking in our civic sense. There is a blatant disregard for other citizens and this comes in all forms - whether casteism, stature-ism etc. etc.
Please note that I don't praise the U.S. for much - but this cohesiveness - amongst their citizens (whether misguided, wrong or right - is irrelevant) is something that I do give them credit for. I don't care how they achieved it and I don't care what they use it for... they have it. All else is inconsequential. And it is something I envision for India. I don't see it yet. Maybe because I'm not there. But acts like this aren't very encouraging.
In the end, its disheartening to see Movies, CLEARLY stating that they are fiction, being banned because a religious group claimed that they will riot. This says nothing about a responsible State Government. It speaks volumes, however, about the perceived irresponsibility of the public. It speaks VOLUMES about the Government's lack of faith in their citizens' ability to accept and/or ignore and/or appreciate ANYTHING that hints at a contradiction in their current beliefs. The Brethren of Dolts runs deeper than I had imagined. They are more than a Brotherhood. They are part of the fucking system... (sigh)
Tamil Nadu? - don't they have one of the highest literacy rates? what the fuck is going on? I will ponder on a solution, albeit, I have a strong feeling there is none. Perhaps my acceptance of morons will set an example.
(impossible)
May 24, 2006
The Brethren of Dolts
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4985370.stm
Excerpts from the article:
"Roman Catholics in the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay) have received Muslim support in protests against the release of the movie, The Da Vinci Code."
"An umbrella organisation of Islamic clerics in Mumbai have labelled the film as "blasphemous" because it spreads "lies" about Jesus Christ. One Roman Catholic activist has gone on what he says is a "hunger strike until death" unless the film is banned. "
Maulana Mansoor Ali Khan, general secretary of the All-India Sunni Jamiyat-ul-Ulema, said "The Holy Koran recognises Jesus as a prophet. What the book says is an insult to both Christians and Muslims," and "Muslims in India will help their Christian brothers protest this attack on our common religious belief".
___________________________________
Great.
What did we need more than individual idiots to deal with? Morons of the world unite! A Brethren Of Dolts (hereon will be referenced as BOD). I could name several acquaintances who would merit an induction. No test required. "Can you breathe? Ok. Is your framework of knowledge built on dumbfounding principles of a generally retarded nature - great! you're hired"
Does the concept of "Fiction" completely escape these people? "...an insult to both Christans and Muslims"? It's called a s-t-o-r-y morons... You know what a story is right? Well here's an example... Once upon a time, in land far far away and naked man and a naked woman frolicked in a Golden Garden. Subsequently, they were tricked by a reptile into eating an apple and...
Oh no, I'm sorry... thats not a story... that really happened. right right... (yo... puff and pass man...)
Honestly, what is their purpose on this planet? Why do these morons come out of the wood-work in these times? They rank up there with the "lets establish Prohibition in India" folks.
Give me your addresses. NOW! Arrrrrggghhh! I just... (sigh)... want to grab you by the shoulders and... grrr.... *shake* you... yelling "what!...is!... your... major malfunction!!!???"
The unfortunate thing is none of them will have access to this blog. I bet the Internet is a sin right? As is knowledge? Thats right - according to the book(s) that you take so literally and hold so close to your heart - 'knowledge' was the forbidden fruit. The root cause for mortal sin. Hmm... interesting. So that would mean - *learning* about your religion as a child was sinful... SINNER! Wait wait wait... that means that preaching (as per above and in so many other ways) and thus propelling/spreading the word of God (whatever f-ed up version you hold true) and perpetuating *understanding* (an off-shoot of knowledge) should be a PRIMAL sin no? It's only logical. But wait! Logic must be a fucking sin too. How can you do all of the above and leave out logic? How can these people miss that one? Well, at least you're *saved* on that count - since logic is clearly a characteristic beyond your stunted capacity.
Behold! - the saviors of mankind have revealed themselves! No seriously guys, thanks for your concern and attempted censorship/ban and everything... but you know what? I'll take the rough sex, drugs and Da Vinci Code.
No no... (sarcasm) the censorship of this movie is most definitely worth going on a hunger-strike for. Please do... and rid this world of your stupidity. These are the things that you can check against your list of positive contributions to this planet. Without doubt, you will be recognized in the present and remembered in the future for this stupidity of biblical proportions.
Pun-fucking-intended...
*frustration is evidently rampant*
Excerpts from the article:
"Roman Catholics in the Indian city of Mumbai (Bombay) have received Muslim support in protests against the release of the movie, The Da Vinci Code."
"An umbrella organisation of Islamic clerics in Mumbai have labelled the film as "blasphemous" because it spreads "lies" about Jesus Christ. One Roman Catholic activist has gone on what he says is a "hunger strike until death" unless the film is banned. "
Maulana Mansoor Ali Khan, general secretary of the All-India Sunni Jamiyat-ul-Ulema, said "The Holy Koran recognises Jesus as a prophet. What the book says is an insult to both Christians and Muslims," and "Muslims in India will help their Christian brothers protest this attack on our common religious belief".
___________________________________
Great.
What did we need more than individual idiots to deal with? Morons of the world unite! A Brethren Of Dolts (hereon will be referenced as BOD). I could name several acquaintances who would merit an induction. No test required. "Can you breathe? Ok. Is your framework of knowledge built on dumbfounding principles of a generally retarded nature - great! you're hired"
Does the concept of "Fiction" completely escape these people? "...an insult to both Christans and Muslims"? It's called a s-t-o-r-y morons... You know what a story is right? Well here's an example... Once upon a time, in land far far away and naked man and a naked woman frolicked in a Golden Garden. Subsequently, they were tricked by a reptile into eating an apple and...
Oh no, I'm sorry... thats not a story... that really happened. right right... (yo... puff and pass man...)
Honestly, what is their purpose on this planet? Why do these morons come out of the wood-work in these times? They rank up there with the "lets establish Prohibition in India" folks.
Give me your addresses. NOW! Arrrrrggghhh! I just... (sigh)... want to grab you by the shoulders and... grrr.... *shake* you... yelling "what!...is!... your... major malfunction!!!???"
The unfortunate thing is none of them will have access to this blog. I bet the Internet is a sin right? As is knowledge? Thats right - according to the book(s) that you take so literally and hold so close to your heart - 'knowledge' was the forbidden fruit. The root cause for mortal sin. Hmm... interesting. So that would mean - *learning* about your religion as a child was sinful... SINNER! Wait wait wait... that means that preaching (as per above and in so many other ways) and thus propelling/spreading the word of God (whatever f-ed up version you hold true) and perpetuating *understanding* (an off-shoot of knowledge) should be a PRIMAL sin no? It's only logical. But wait! Logic must be a fucking sin too. How can you do all of the above and leave out logic? How can these people miss that one? Well, at least you're *saved* on that count - since logic is clearly a characteristic beyond your stunted capacity.
Behold! - the saviors of mankind have revealed themselves! No seriously guys, thanks for your concern and attempted censorship/ban and everything... but you know what? I'll take the rough sex, drugs and Da Vinci Code.
No no... (sarcasm) the censorship of this movie is most definitely worth going on a hunger-strike for. Please do... and rid this world of your stupidity. These are the things that you can check against your list of positive contributions to this planet. Without doubt, you will be recognized in the present and remembered in the future for this stupidity of biblical proportions.
Pun-fucking-intended...
*frustration is evidently rampant*
May 18, 2006
The Goa Chronicles: Mausam
Chronicle – “a usually continuous historical account of events arranged in order of time without analysis or interpretation.” Of course, some of my chronicles will include opinions so forgive the deviation at times. My chronicles are an attempt to capture (to the best of my memory) events occurring on a travel experience. The first of these (hopefully many) posts relates to my recent travel to Goa, India.
Brief Intro: Goa is located on the west coast of India, in the region known as the Konkan, and is bounded by the state of Maharashtra to the north and Karnataka to the east and south. The Arabian Sea bounds it to the west. Panaji is the state's capital, and Vasco-da-Gama (Vasco) its largest town. Portuguese merchants first landed in Goa in the 15th century, but colonised it soon after. The Portuguese colony existed for about 450 years, until it was annexed by India in 1961. Internationally renowned for its beaches, Goa is visited by hundreds of thousands of foreign and domestic tourists each year, and has become one of the most popular holiday destinations for European travellers.
December 30th, 2005: It was around 1 am in the morning. Joy and I had been walking along the beach sharing a bottle of Old Monk, laughing at the locals dancing in their kachhaas . Before we knew it the bottle was done and we were devastatingly sloshed. Now, between Calingut and Bagha, there was a short stretch where there were no Shacks to light the beach. The sky, though littered with stars and a big bright moon, was not enough to provide the light we needed to navigate effectively so we followed the foam of the sea toward Calingut.
As we dawdled toward our hopeful destination, in a drunken haze, I noticed a girl walking about 40 feet ahead of us. She was in shorts and had a shawl wrapped around herself, no doubt to shield herself from the increasingly chilly night. I nudged Joy (who was barely able to keep his eyes open) and pointed out this lonesome girl to him. As expected, he turned to me and a familiar mischievous smile came across our faces. With inflated chests and longer strides we moved quickly through the sand. Completely drunk and severely lacking female companionship played an important role in our motivation here.
Before we knew it we had caught up to her. Our girlish, impish giggles were more than a give-away and she turned to face us. Wait a minute. No no. This can't be.
She... was a HE!
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, imagine my surprise when the girl who's face had run through our minds several times over was a dude's ugly mug! Our dreams of a midnight romance with a girl strolling the beaches of goa... smashed. But this wasn't going to damper our spirits! No! We weren't about to pass up the opportunity successfully harass a transvestite. So we spoke. Well, Joy spoke. I was still a little upset at the disappointment.
Joy: Hi!
It: Hiiii…
Joy: So umm…whatcha doin?
It: Just walking on the beach – how about you guys?
Joy: Oh… we’re just looking for some action… whats your name?
It: Oh… I’m Mausam.
Joy: Mausam?... ok… (pointing at me) this is Barsaat and I’m Roshni.
(nice...)
It: (smiles) – nice to meet you.
Suddenly, Joy leaps toward me, hugs me and turns us away from “it”. In a fraction of a second his palm is on my face and he’s kissing the back of his hand. So to poor Mausam it looks like we’re makin’ out on the beach. Meanwhile, I’m like – what the fuck?
Note: It is important to keep in mind that we are severely wasted here.
Joy uses his other hand to grab Mausam and pull “it” closer… and I’m starting to get a little worried here. I’ve got a brown-haired dude on me and a transvestite approaching nearer. Never thought I’d say that. At this point Joy pulls away and starts yelling:
“YOU LOVE MAUSAM! I KNOW IT! YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!” and then... he’s gone.
Nice… thanks a lot Joy. He races off into the darkness and has vanished in a matter of a few seconds. I’m too bewildered to move at this point until I realize that not only am I standing alone in the dark with this transvestite but “it” has moved uncomfortably close to me. With a nervous laugh I call out in vain “umm… Joy?”… no response. Great.
This is one of those moments that you prepare for with ‘think fast’ games in high-school. I am rarely faced with these situations where am forced to react physically and mentally in a fraction of a second. Mausam reaches and grabs my package. WHAT THE FUCK!?
SMACK!
I slap Mausam as hard as I can and “it” falls to the floor helpless and sobbing. I’m looking around desperately unsure of what to do next. Now Mausam, sniffling, tries to stand up and is on its knees when Joytan comes running back. (sigh)
Cut to Joytan’s view: Aman Bahel standing on the beach with a transvestite in front of him on its knees… precariously close to him. No one else is around.
Joy stopped dead in his tracks – looking at me shocked. “NOOO!” he yells and runs over…
SMACK!.... and Mausam hits the ground... again.
Now Joytan is pushing me “what the fuck are you doing you sick bastard?... what’s wrong with you!?”. Now, I haven’t realized what Joy saw and perceived but I’m taking a lot of pushes here.
Suddenly there are voices in the distance.
Joy and I take one look at each other and we’re off. We ran for about ten minutes as fast as we could and with no clue of direction – completely unable to comprehend what has just transpired. Tired, drunk and confused we fall to the sand and sit idly – staring at the Sea trying to catch our breath. No words are spoken here. No words are appropriate. After about five minutes, we find flashlights in our eyes and two bamboo sticks nudging us from behind. Cops. But that’s an unrelated story for another time.
I think back and I suppose I feel sorry for Mausam. But in the end, having this story to tell made it all worthwhile. Yeah yeah... it'll live.
Brief Intro: Goa is located on the west coast of India, in the region known as the Konkan, and is bounded by the state of Maharashtra to the north and Karnataka to the east and south. The Arabian Sea bounds it to the west. Panaji is the state's capital, and Vasco-da-Gama (Vasco) its largest town. Portuguese merchants first landed in Goa in the 15th century, but colonised it soon after. The Portuguese colony existed for about 450 years, until it was annexed by India in 1961. Internationally renowned for its beaches, Goa is visited by hundreds of thousands of foreign and domestic tourists each year, and has become one of the most popular holiday destinations for European travellers.
December 30th, 2005: It was around 1 am in the morning. Joy and I had been walking along the beach sharing a bottle of Old Monk, laughing at the locals dancing in their kachhaas . Before we knew it the bottle was done and we were devastatingly sloshed. Now, between Calingut and Bagha, there was a short stretch where there were no Shacks to light the beach. The sky, though littered with stars and a big bright moon, was not enough to provide the light we needed to navigate effectively so we followed the foam of the sea toward Calingut.As we dawdled toward our hopeful destination, in a drunken haze, I noticed a girl walking about 40 feet ahead of us. She was in shorts and had a shawl wrapped around herself, no doubt to shield herself from the increasingly chilly night. I nudged Joy (who was barely able to keep his eyes open) and pointed out this lonesome girl to him. As expected, he turned to me and a familiar mischievous smile came across our faces. With inflated chests and longer strides we moved quickly through the sand. Completely drunk and severely lacking female companionship played an important role in our motivation here.
Before we knew it we had caught up to her. Our girlish, impish giggles were more than a give-away and she turned to face us. Wait a minute. No no. This can't be.
She... was a HE!
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, imagine my surprise when the girl who's face had run through our minds several times over was a dude's ugly mug! Our dreams of a midnight romance with a girl strolling the beaches of goa... smashed. But this wasn't going to damper our spirits! No! We weren't about to pass up the opportunity successfully harass a transvestite. So we spoke. Well, Joy spoke. I was still a little upset at the disappointment.
Joy: Hi!
It: Hiiii…
Joy: So umm…whatcha doin?
It: Just walking on the beach – how about you guys?
Joy: Oh… we’re just looking for some action… whats your name?
It: Oh… I’m Mausam.
Joy: Mausam?... ok… (pointing at me) this is Barsaat and I’m Roshni.
(nice...)
It: (smiles) – nice to meet you.
Suddenly, Joy leaps toward me, hugs me and turns us away from “it”. In a fraction of a second his palm is on my face and he’s kissing the back of his hand. So to poor Mausam it looks like we’re makin’ out on the beach. Meanwhile, I’m like – what the fuck?
Note: It is important to keep in mind that we are severely wasted here.
Joy uses his other hand to grab Mausam and pull “it” closer… and I’m starting to get a little worried here. I’ve got a brown-haired dude on me and a transvestite approaching nearer. Never thought I’d say that. At this point Joy pulls away and starts yelling:
“YOU LOVE MAUSAM! I KNOW IT! YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE!!!” and then... he’s gone.
Nice… thanks a lot Joy. He races off into the darkness and has vanished in a matter of a few seconds. I’m too bewildered to move at this point until I realize that not only am I standing alone in the dark with this transvestite but “it” has moved uncomfortably close to me. With a nervous laugh I call out in vain “umm… Joy?”… no response. Great.
This is one of those moments that you prepare for with ‘think fast’ games in high-school. I am rarely faced with these situations where am forced to react physically and mentally in a fraction of a second. Mausam reaches and grabs my package. WHAT THE FUCK!?
SMACK!
I slap Mausam as hard as I can and “it” falls to the floor helpless and sobbing. I’m looking around desperately unsure of what to do next. Now Mausam, sniffling, tries to stand up and is on its knees when Joytan comes running back. (sigh)
Cut to Joytan’s view: Aman Bahel standing on the beach with a transvestite in front of him on its knees… precariously close to him. No one else is around.
Joy stopped dead in his tracks – looking at me shocked. “NOOO!” he yells and runs over…
SMACK!.... and Mausam hits the ground... again.
Now Joytan is pushing me “what the fuck are you doing you sick bastard?... what’s wrong with you!?”. Now, I haven’t realized what Joy saw and perceived but I’m taking a lot of pushes here.
Suddenly there are voices in the distance.
Joy and I take one look at each other and we’re off. We ran for about ten minutes as fast as we could and with no clue of direction – completely unable to comprehend what has just transpired. Tired, drunk and confused we fall to the sand and sit idly – staring at the Sea trying to catch our breath. No words are spoken here. No words are appropriate. After about five minutes, we find flashlights in our eyes and two bamboo sticks nudging us from behind. Cops. But that’s an unrelated story for another time.
I think back and I suppose I feel sorry for Mausam. But in the end, having this story to tell made it all worthwhile. Yeah yeah... it'll live.
May 17, 2006
Envisage
Sheets wrinkled from last night's sweat,
Stains of a fine Merlot, I cannot rid my shirt of
She lies still in my bed wrapped in those sheets
How can emptiness fill something till it bursts?
Yes, I composed poems with twisted clichés
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as are Vanity and Jealousy
I bear these sins, and wish to though cannot leave.
There are many petals on this rose
and spots on its stem where thorns once stood
But I needn't carry her grocery bags
They aren't as heavy as they seem.
(I wrote this several years ago. It's one of my favorites yet I don't have an inkling as to why.)
Stains of a fine Merlot, I cannot rid my shirt of
She lies still in my bed wrapped in those sheets
How can emptiness fill something till it bursts?
Yes, I composed poems with twisted clichés
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as are Vanity and Jealousy
I bear these sins, and wish to though cannot leave.
There are many petals on this rose
and spots on its stem where thorns once stood
But I needn't carry her grocery bags
They aren't as heavy as they seem.
(I wrote this several years ago. It's one of my favorites yet I don't have an inkling as to why.)
May 15, 2006
Riots...
On October 31st, 1984 - Indira Gandhi (the Prime Minister of India at the time) was assasinated by two of her own (Sikh) body guards.
I will opine on several of the events and facts - in a section below.
Quick Biography:
Indira Gandhi was the only child of Jawahar Lal Nehru (a fag as far as I'm concerned). She was responsible for several successes of India as a country. In 1971, her popularity rose as she battled and gained a victory against Pakistan. She was also in power when India's first nuclear weapon was successfully tested (detonated) and she launched India's first satellite into space.
Right on.
But in 1984, she ordered Indian troops to enter into the Golden Temple (in Amritsar) to fight "terrorists", or promoters of the Sikh secessionist movement. The Sikh secessionist movement was a fight for "Khalistan" a separate Nation for Sikhs. They wanted a nation in the middle of India. Thats right... so it would be surrounded on all sides by... India (sometimes... surdies... (sigh). Anyway, so she ordered the troops into the Golden Temple - one of the most sacred places for Sikhs. Consequently, some very pissed off extremist Sikhs assasinated her in the same year.
As a direct result of this - there was mass rioting in and around Delhi and close to 4,000 Sikhs were massacred (which I believe was Congress sponsored).
What I didn't know happened:
Jabalpur is a prominent city in Madhya Pradesh. It's prominent because it is an important trade route between Maharashtra and farther, southern states to the North. Majority of goods are transported aboard freight trains and trucks and good majority of these truckers are Sikhs. It comes as no surprise that Highway No. 7 (which runs from the South to the North via Jabalpur) is lined with several Sikh settlements (truckers etc.) The following words were spoken by an ex-Commissioner of Police from that district - "We were asked to stand down and stay in our stations as close to 20,000 Sikhs were massacred over a period of 5 days. There was not a single media medium that informed anyone that this was going on - during or after the event. We could do nothing but help clean up in the end."
I sat there dumbfounded.
It was a State organized massacre -similar to the charges in Gujarat except that THAT whole hooplah was over 2,000 Muslims. We're talking 20,000 human beings cut, raped, tortured and burnt. And not one word? Even now if you do a google search you'll find articles stating "4,000 Sikhs killed in Delhi..." etc. etc. and nothing about this.
______
Opinion:
1. I am of the stout belief that State comes before religion of any kind. It is this that makes me believe that Muslims shouldn't be allowed to have multiple wives, and it is the same reason that I think that a temple is Indian soil before it is a temple or a church, or whatever. Indira Gandhi's decision to order troops into the Golden Temple is a touchy subject and I recognize that. Unfortunately, I don't know the "requirment" behind this decision. How important was it - etc. etc. If there was an obvious and deliberate threat to the nation, then yes - I am alright with the troops going in there - if there was no direct threat and they were unarmed etc. then maybe not.
2. The response from the Sikh extremists was fairly disappointing. It was rash and not necessary. There was no great "paap" in what happened. There was no "defilement". And there certainly was no need for her to be assasinated.
3. The fact that rioters were walking around with uniformly cut metal rods (sourced to distributors affiliated with the Congress) is greatly disheartening. Whats worse is they had access to and were openly walking around with Voter lists! They knew where which Sikhs lived and went for them. Someone pointed out that this is like organized crime - where groups are allowed to act above the law. Yes, it is like organized crime, except that it wasn't organized. It was killing and murdering Sikhs who - A) Had nothing to do with the Secessionist Movement and B) Had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with Indira Gandhi's assasination. Blood-boilingly frustrating to note (and I have no doubt that it wasn't this way) that the lack of good consciounce of a few men surpassed the consciounce of several other men - to an extent where thousands lost their lives.
4. Jabalpur. I'm unsure of this story. This person has no reason to lie. But I just find it hard to believe that a major incident like this goes down and it doesn't get reported anywhere. How is this possible? But wait a minute, this is a little similar to the Kashmir situation isn't it? Scores of Hindu pandits and their families have been either killed or ousted from Kashmir. Thousands of Hindus have lost their lives in that region - but I never hear about it in the news. I never read about it in some prominent, intellectual, supposedly fact-finding, little prick's editorial. No - I hear about it from Army officers, friends of my father's. Not one, or two - but several. Independent of each other. So if this can happen in TODAY's day and age, then why not over 20 years ago? State sanctioned massacre - just like Gujarat. Even now I find and have met with Hindus - expressing extreme grief over the death of these Muslims (not just in Gujarat but in Kashmir also). A good Hindu's good consciounce is troubled with the suffering of another. What happens to that consciounce when Hindus and the Sikhs are massacred?
I look at all this shit... hear all this shit... and while I'm frustrated and angry, I'm also relieved (but only a tiny amount). The reason for this miniscule relief? Because all the reasons I thought I was going to hell for are like a particle of dust in a hurricane of sin.
I will opine on several of the events and facts - in a section below.
Quick Biography:
Indira Gandhi was the only child of Jawahar Lal Nehru (a fag as far as I'm concerned). She was responsible for several successes of India as a country. In 1971, her popularity rose as she battled and gained a victory against Pakistan. She was also in power when India's first nuclear weapon was successfully tested (detonated) and she launched India's first satellite into space.
Right on.
But in 1984, she ordered Indian troops to enter into the Golden Temple (in Amritsar) to fight "terrorists", or promoters of the Sikh secessionist movement. The Sikh secessionist movement was a fight for "Khalistan" a separate Nation for Sikhs. They wanted a nation in the middle of India. Thats right... so it would be surrounded on all sides by... India (sometimes... surdies... (sigh). Anyway, so she ordered the troops into the Golden Temple - one of the most sacred places for Sikhs. Consequently, some very pissed off extremist Sikhs assasinated her in the same year.
As a direct result of this - there was mass rioting in and around Delhi and close to 4,000 Sikhs were massacred (which I believe was Congress sponsored).
What I didn't know happened:
Jabalpur is a prominent city in Madhya Pradesh. It's prominent because it is an important trade route between Maharashtra and farther, southern states to the North. Majority of goods are transported aboard freight trains and trucks and good majority of these truckers are Sikhs. It comes as no surprise that Highway No. 7 (which runs from the South to the North via Jabalpur) is lined with several Sikh settlements (truckers etc.) The following words were spoken by an ex-Commissioner of Police from that district - "We were asked to stand down and stay in our stations as close to 20,000 Sikhs were massacred over a period of 5 days. There was not a single media medium that informed anyone that this was going on - during or after the event. We could do nothing but help clean up in the end."
I sat there dumbfounded.
It was a State organized massacre -similar to the charges in Gujarat except that THAT whole hooplah was over 2,000 Muslims. We're talking 20,000 human beings cut, raped, tortured and burnt. And not one word? Even now if you do a google search you'll find articles stating "4,000 Sikhs killed in Delhi..." etc. etc. and nothing about this.
______
Opinion:
1. I am of the stout belief that State comes before religion of any kind. It is this that makes me believe that Muslims shouldn't be allowed to have multiple wives, and it is the same reason that I think that a temple is Indian soil before it is a temple or a church, or whatever. Indira Gandhi's decision to order troops into the Golden Temple is a touchy subject and I recognize that. Unfortunately, I don't know the "requirment" behind this decision. How important was it - etc. etc. If there was an obvious and deliberate threat to the nation, then yes - I am alright with the troops going in there - if there was no direct threat and they were unarmed etc. then maybe not.
2. The response from the Sikh extremists was fairly disappointing. It was rash and not necessary. There was no great "paap" in what happened. There was no "defilement". And there certainly was no need for her to be assasinated.
3. The fact that rioters were walking around with uniformly cut metal rods (sourced to distributors affiliated with the Congress) is greatly disheartening. Whats worse is they had access to and were openly walking around with Voter lists! They knew where which Sikhs lived and went for them. Someone pointed out that this is like organized crime - where groups are allowed to act above the law. Yes, it is like organized crime, except that it wasn't organized. It was killing and murdering Sikhs who - A) Had nothing to do with the Secessionist Movement and B) Had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with Indira Gandhi's assasination. Blood-boilingly frustrating to note (and I have no doubt that it wasn't this way) that the lack of good consciounce of a few men surpassed the consciounce of several other men - to an extent where thousands lost their lives.
4. Jabalpur. I'm unsure of this story. This person has no reason to lie. But I just find it hard to believe that a major incident like this goes down and it doesn't get reported anywhere. How is this possible? But wait a minute, this is a little similar to the Kashmir situation isn't it? Scores of Hindu pandits and their families have been either killed or ousted from Kashmir. Thousands of Hindus have lost their lives in that region - but I never hear about it in the news. I never read about it in some prominent, intellectual, supposedly fact-finding, little prick's editorial. No - I hear about it from Army officers, friends of my father's. Not one, or two - but several. Independent of each other. So if this can happen in TODAY's day and age, then why not over 20 years ago? State sanctioned massacre - just like Gujarat. Even now I find and have met with Hindus - expressing extreme grief over the death of these Muslims (not just in Gujarat but in Kashmir also). A good Hindu's good consciounce is troubled with the suffering of another. What happens to that consciounce when Hindus and the Sikhs are massacred?
I look at all this shit... hear all this shit... and while I'm frustrated and angry, I'm also relieved (but only a tiny amount). The reason for this miniscule relief? Because all the reasons I thought I was going to hell for are like a particle of dust in a hurricane of sin.
May 13, 2006
Throttle...
I met an idiot today.
Every so often you run into people on the street from your past. I'm unsure as to why - but I get this indeniable and incessant need to walk up and say hello. In New York, if you catch a glimpse of a familar face across the street, it is more than easy to avoid that person all together. But no... no no no... that would be too easy. An urge drives me to walk up and say hello - "hey - howya been?" Stupid stupid... stupid... (sigh).. stupid me. Why do I forget... for those few moments... the primary reasons I have avoided this person for - for so long. It just slips past me!
But then, within two minutes of dialogue I am reminded - and for the next several hours I will remain frustrated... more at myself than at that person. That ugly person (intrinsically... not appearance-wise)... so ugly that I bet their mother had to get drunk to breast feed them.
There are no words to compensate for their existence. These are the people you want to slap around... actually not even just "oh hi... *smack!* - and they're out cold... no no.. thats not enough... a blunt spoon to the throat perhaps... or a long... unabbreviated strangle-hold - one that keeps them busy with pain for an elongated period of time - yeah... bleeding just doesn't cut it anymore.
Perhaps a burlap bag or a potato sack... followed by several blows with a baseball bat to their head. Eitherway, sometime shit just pours out of people's mouths and all one can do is look at the sky and wonder - is there a god? You hope so.
I've tried the Gandhi path - a simple (sigh).. shrugh, smile and walk away - but how long can my patience be tested? Had there not been witnesses today, Earth would've been short yet another insignificant cockroach.
Pent up anger and angression you say? More like frustration - bound for eternity to these minions of the dumber gods. Its easy if a person is just dumb - no? You can laugh and say - its ok... he's just dumb! Its o-k. But what if they're dumb and they try to overcome it with arrogance? What about if they try to overcome it with opinions - which they believe if spoken with enough conviction will make them sound smart. I feel sorry for their kids... and even worse for the poor women who are fated to conceive them. These are the truly ill-fated women of the world.
I'm out. I will try to sleep off this day and move on to the next. I will pray to God tonight - perhaps he will re-distribute his love for ALL creatures today... because clearly he left out a few...
You know I'm frustrated when my words fail me.
CANCEL!
Every so often you run into people on the street from your past. I'm unsure as to why - but I get this indeniable and incessant need to walk up and say hello. In New York, if you catch a glimpse of a familar face across the street, it is more than easy to avoid that person all together. But no... no no no... that would be too easy. An urge drives me to walk up and say hello - "hey - howya been?" Stupid stupid... stupid... (sigh).. stupid me. Why do I forget... for those few moments... the primary reasons I have avoided this person for - for so long. It just slips past me!
But then, within two minutes of dialogue I am reminded - and for the next several hours I will remain frustrated... more at myself than at that person. That ugly person (intrinsically... not appearance-wise)... so ugly that I bet their mother had to get drunk to breast feed them.
There are no words to compensate for their existence. These are the people you want to slap around... actually not even just "oh hi... *smack!* - and they're out cold... no no.. thats not enough... a blunt spoon to the throat perhaps... or a long... unabbreviated strangle-hold - one that keeps them busy with pain for an elongated period of time - yeah... bleeding just doesn't cut it anymore.
Perhaps a burlap bag or a potato sack... followed by several blows with a baseball bat to their head. Eitherway, sometime shit just pours out of people's mouths and all one can do is look at the sky and wonder - is there a god? You hope so.
I've tried the Gandhi path - a simple (sigh).. shrugh, smile and walk away - but how long can my patience be tested? Had there not been witnesses today, Earth would've been short yet another insignificant cockroach.
Pent up anger and angression you say? More like frustration - bound for eternity to these minions of the dumber gods. Its easy if a person is just dumb - no? You can laugh and say - its ok... he's just dumb! Its o-k. But what if they're dumb and they try to overcome it with arrogance? What about if they try to overcome it with opinions - which they believe if spoken with enough conviction will make them sound smart. I feel sorry for their kids... and even worse for the poor women who are fated to conceive them. These are the truly ill-fated women of the world.
I'm out. I will try to sleep off this day and move on to the next. I will pray to God tonight - perhaps he will re-distribute his love for ALL creatures today... because clearly he left out a few...
You know I'm frustrated when my words fail me.
CANCEL!
May 03, 2006
The South...
So I've visited both Dallas and Atlanta now and am experiencing a different side of America. Granted these visits are short-lived but experiences nonetheless and I do consider them to be moderately important.
Dallas, Texas (June 2005): I was there for a week. My group's annual off-site was held there. The city is fairly nice. Of course, my glasses are tinted with the Big Apple so while I attempted to rid myself of any pre-conceived notions but whats the point of not keeping things relative. As expected it was hot. I mean really hot. Delhi hot. The word I use for Dallas is 'scarce'. There's a scarcity of stores, people and generally.. life as I'm used to it. Its as if a Suburb lives amongst a few tall buildings - very strange for me. Nonetheless, a few adventurous folks and myself proceeded to experience the city by foot. We were in the "hotel/financial" district (if there is such a thing). There was almost no one on the streets. We walked into a bar and the contrast was more than noticeable. Stark white folks staring at us. Our group composition: a Russian (thus white), an Arab, a Chinese fellah and an Indian (myself) . Some dude was singing about his Dodge Ram on the juke box.
Anyway, I've never felt so out of place in my life. A bunch of rednecks staring me down clearly letting me know I wasn't welcome. It came as a sudden realization that I was probably safer in the ghetto than here. Here... they can afford guns.
Anyway, so after mustering up all the courage I could and with whatever dignity I could afford, I sat down with my colleauges and had a beer. We could hear them jeering at us, provoking us - but we endured. In the end, we reached home safely - having successfully swallowed our pride. It was expected. It was known. But it was still a little shocking. Living in New York - I've rarely had a racist comment made at me. There have been some - but they are so mild that they only occur to me as an after thought - "oh... did that just happen because I'm Indian?"
Atlanta, Georgia (June 2006): A year later I'm in Atlanta. I had a high expectations - given that its the home of Ludacris and the Nelly. (Side note: what the fuck is up with Nelly and the band aid on his face?... i mean seriously...) Anyway, so Atlanta is a different kind of town, there are African American people by the scores. Its not that I'm not used to this diversity living in New York and having done some considerable travel to places like Cleveland, Ohio and Washington, D.C. - but a fairly large chunk of the population here is African-American. Note: I do not have a problem with this community - this was a mere observation.
Nevertheless, I'm walking down the street at 10:00 pm with another Indian, a white male and a white female. I've got the Ritz-Carlton to my left and Brooks Brothers to my right. Immediately I feel secure that this neighborhood is fairly safe given these two landmarks. I'm wrong. Within a few seconds of being noticed by the local hobos - we were approached by one of them. 6 feet 6 inches tall with able hands and legs. No reason for him to not have a job. He walks up to us and begins to ask for some change. No - I'm not giving you shit. Fuck you, get a job. Harsh, yes. Fuck you too if you think I'm a dick. You better be a parapalegic or an amputee to get money outta me. So we keep walking but he kept following saying random shit until he bursts into "Fuck you Spanish mother fuckers" - aahhhh... he thinks I'm spanish - nothing unusual there- it happens a lot to me. Anyway, I took offense nonetheless but wasn't going to let Goliath know that. I kept walking, fists clenched - unable to say anything and partially praying that this pissed off troll doesn't shoot me. The chick we were finally gives him a dollar and tells him to go away. Good riddance no?... no... mother fucker stays with us for another 5 minutes - cursing out the spanish, the indian cab drivers and "The Man". Yes, we are the cause of all your problems. So he finally leaves us alone and what happens? Hobo #2 approaches. I mean... you've got to be kidding! Hobo #2 was 5"4' tall and didn't walk straight - so while I wasn't as intimidated anymore, one still wasn't sure of any concealed weapons... not that he had many clothes to hide any weapons but still. I finally turned around to this guy (our new companion) and very politely said "Me no espeeky english... no dolla... no moanie (money)..." It worked! He left, cursing and twitching.We reached back to the hotel in total shock. Couldn't imagine what the ghetto of Atlanta was like - if this was the case in front of the Ritz-Carlton. I don't consider this a racial experience but there's a marked difference between this city and New York. In NY, hobos chill on side, asking for money but never actually following you. You may hear a comment or two but thats about it. This has only strengthened my conclusion that if I'm to stay in this country - it New York and no other place.
Racial profiling of any kind is an inevitable outcome of a capitalist system. Its like Crash, the movie. Watch it if you haven't. Phenomenal one-time watch. I feel this burden. Arun knows what I'm talking about. Wait, to call it a burden is inaccurate. Its a subconscious, constant, prodding, an awareness. No matter where I am - on a flight, checking into a hotel, walking down the street, over here I am c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y aware of the fact that I'm Indian. I hate it.
I want to go home... back to India.
This is a long-ass blog.
(sigh)
Dallas, Texas (June 2005): I was there for a week. My group's annual off-site was held there. The city is fairly nice. Of course, my glasses are tinted with the Big Apple so while I attempted to rid myself of any pre-conceived notions but whats the point of not keeping things relative. As expected it was hot. I mean really hot. Delhi hot. The word I use for Dallas is 'scarce'. There's a scarcity of stores, people and generally.. life as I'm used to it. Its as if a Suburb lives amongst a few tall buildings - very strange for me. Nonetheless, a few adventurous folks and myself proceeded to experience the city by foot. We were in the "hotel/financial" district (if there is such a thing). There was almost no one on the streets. We walked into a bar and the contrast was more than noticeable. Stark white folks staring at us. Our group composition: a Russian (thus white), an Arab, a Chinese fellah and an Indian (myself) . Some dude was singing about his Dodge Ram on the juke box.
Anyway, I've never felt so out of place in my life. A bunch of rednecks staring me down clearly letting me know I wasn't welcome. It came as a sudden realization that I was probably safer in the ghetto than here. Here... they can afford guns.
Anyway, so after mustering up all the courage I could and with whatever dignity I could afford, I sat down with my colleauges and had a beer. We could hear them jeering at us, provoking us - but we endured. In the end, we reached home safely - having successfully swallowed our pride. It was expected. It was known. But it was still a little shocking. Living in New York - I've rarely had a racist comment made at me. There have been some - but they are so mild that they only occur to me as an after thought - "oh... did that just happen because I'm Indian?"
Atlanta, Georgia (June 2006): A year later I'm in Atlanta. I had a high expectations - given that its the home of Ludacris and the Nelly. (Side note: what the fuck is up with Nelly and the band aid on his face?... i mean seriously...) Anyway, so Atlanta is a different kind of town, there are African American people by the scores. Its not that I'm not used to this diversity living in New York and having done some considerable travel to places like Cleveland, Ohio and Washington, D.C. - but a fairly large chunk of the population here is African-American. Note: I do not have a problem with this community - this was a mere observation.
Nevertheless, I'm walking down the street at 10:00 pm with another Indian, a white male and a white female. I've got the Ritz-Carlton to my left and Brooks Brothers to my right. Immediately I feel secure that this neighborhood is fairly safe given these two landmarks. I'm wrong. Within a few seconds of being noticed by the local hobos - we were approached by one of them. 6 feet 6 inches tall with able hands and legs. No reason for him to not have a job. He walks up to us and begins to ask for some change. No - I'm not giving you shit. Fuck you, get a job. Harsh, yes. Fuck you too if you think I'm a dick. You better be a parapalegic or an amputee to get money outta me. So we keep walking but he kept following saying random shit until he bursts into "Fuck you Spanish mother fuckers" - aahhhh... he thinks I'm spanish - nothing unusual there- it happens a lot to me. Anyway, I took offense nonetheless but wasn't going to let Goliath know that. I kept walking, fists clenched - unable to say anything and partially praying that this pissed off troll doesn't shoot me. The chick we were finally gives him a dollar and tells him to go away. Good riddance no?... no... mother fucker stays with us for another 5 minutes - cursing out the spanish, the indian cab drivers and "The Man". Yes, we are the cause of all your problems. So he finally leaves us alone and what happens? Hobo #2 approaches. I mean... you've got to be kidding! Hobo #2 was 5"4' tall and didn't walk straight - so while I wasn't as intimidated anymore, one still wasn't sure of any concealed weapons... not that he had many clothes to hide any weapons but still. I finally turned around to this guy (our new companion) and very politely said "Me no espeeky english... no dolla... no moanie (money)..." It worked! He left, cursing and twitching.We reached back to the hotel in total shock. Couldn't imagine what the ghetto of Atlanta was like - if this was the case in front of the Ritz-Carlton. I don't consider this a racial experience but there's a marked difference between this city and New York. In NY, hobos chill on side, asking for money but never actually following you. You may hear a comment or two but thats about it. This has only strengthened my conclusion that if I'm to stay in this country - it New York and no other place.
Racial profiling of any kind is an inevitable outcome of a capitalist system. Its like Crash, the movie. Watch it if you haven't. Phenomenal one-time watch. I feel this burden. Arun knows what I'm talking about. Wait, to call it a burden is inaccurate. Its a subconscious, constant, prodding, an awareness. No matter where I am - on a flight, checking into a hotel, walking down the street, over here I am c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y aware of the fact that I'm Indian. I hate it.
I want to go home... back to India.
This is a long-ass blog.
(sigh)
April 13, 2006
The Obvious...
The blood in your veins pumps through with certain inevitability. Straight to your heart for purification, back out through your body and then the cycle continues. On the outside, the world follows a similar pattern. Each ephemeral but significant event serves as a cleansing agent. A time for you to step back and reassess everything you’ve succeeded in and everything you’ve failed at to this point. And you'll wear it on your face as you make promises and assure yourself that you will change this way and that way. You will feel this and that. You anticipate, you envision and then move on. You may even promise yourself to always remember that moment or event – and you may actually remember it the way you wanted. But you may forget about it years down the road. And either way is alright.
It comes as no surprise that life is a series of realizations each of which promises to be profound –for the time being at least. And pulling this cart of realizations is hope. Hope for that final realization (sigh), hope that the final realization truly is… profound. So that in the end, you can justify having lived.
There is nothing "profound" here – merely another realization. A realization that some things are just obvious.
It comes as no surprise that life is a series of realizations each of which promises to be profound –for the time being at least. And pulling this cart of realizations is hope. Hope for that final realization (sigh), hope that the final realization truly is… profound. So that in the end, you can justify having lived.
There is nothing "profound" here – merely another realization. A realization that some things are just obvious.
April 10, 2006
Discovery
It was on a Sunday afternoon that I discovered spandex. I had finished my afternoon cup of tea and was mentally preparing myself for a good jog. Thats right - I jog. But that dreaded "ghissa" - oh fearful ghissa... curse you!
For those of you unfamiliar with *ghissa* -I shall explain. When you run and sweat profusely (as I do), sweat inevitably trickles down your inner thighs. When you slow down and do some walking (i.e. take a break from the running) the sweat dries up very quickly. As the inner thighs rub against each other over this wet (but steadily drying) skin - you develop - "ghissa". Its a burn and it hurts like a mother. For several months now my timid mind has boggled over a solution to this exceedingly bothersome problem. And now I have found it - spandex!
Now now - its alright. Its not like I'm wearing nut-huggers and running around the streets in a yellow tight top and spandex-bicycle shorts. I wear regular basketball shorts over the spandex - and maintain a very decent sense of (ahem) man...li... umm... ness. (yeah... shut up).
Fact is spandex and me are friends now. Spandex was developed for a reason and after much reluctance -I have tested it. Ladies and gentlemen, my conclusion is as follows: A careful use of spandex (note -"careful" use...) is allowed - you can continue to respect yourself and have others respect you if you wear spandex and conceal it well enough (please find note of caution below).
Note of caution: I still do not condone running in nothing but spandex on the street, sweating... panting... heaving... bleah! NO! ohhhhh... and you know who you are. You are dangerously falling closer and closer to the category of - "guy who runs in ridiculously short speedo shorts and no shirt". Think of the trauma young children experience when the witness these atrocities of gross negligience... of a severe lacking in civic sense. Spandex is a useful tool but must be used wisely. Inappropriat eusage can cause tremendous and possibly irrepairable damage. So go my young grasshoppers - and experience spandex freely - but carefully...
(oh.. and Kareena Kapoor... yeah - spandex didn't exist when Ashoka was king - SO YOU CAN'T BE WEARING THAT SHIT AND DANCING WITH HIM ON A RAFT IN A MOVIE BASED IN THAT PERIOD OF TIME!
I mean seriously - they took Ashoka... put him no a wooden raft and made him dance with a girl in spandex... r-a-i-g-h-t... I'm sure thats what Ashoka was doing... you know... in between his strategic sessions planning his quest for world domination... "oh! you know what!?... a nice boat ride with a gori in spandex and some dancing will be fun..." ...bhenchot... khassi bana diya uska.)
For those of you unfamiliar with *ghissa* -I shall explain. When you run and sweat profusely (as I do), sweat inevitably trickles down your inner thighs. When you slow down and do some walking (i.e. take a break from the running) the sweat dries up very quickly. As the inner thighs rub against each other over this wet (but steadily drying) skin - you develop - "ghissa". Its a burn and it hurts like a mother. For several months now my timid mind has boggled over a solution to this exceedingly bothersome problem. And now I have found it - spandex!
Now now - its alright. Its not like I'm wearing nut-huggers and running around the streets in a yellow tight top and spandex-bicycle shorts. I wear regular basketball shorts over the spandex - and maintain a very decent sense of (ahem) man...li... umm... ness. (yeah... shut up).
Fact is spandex and me are friends now. Spandex was developed for a reason and after much reluctance -I have tested it. Ladies and gentlemen, my conclusion is as follows: A careful use of spandex (note -"careful" use...) is allowed - you can continue to respect yourself and have others respect you if you wear spandex and conceal it well enough (please find note of caution below).
Note of caution: I still do not condone running in nothing but spandex on the street, sweating... panting... heaving... bleah! NO! ohhhhh... and you know who you are. You are dangerously falling closer and closer to the category of - "guy who runs in ridiculously short speedo shorts and no shirt". Think of the trauma young children experience when the witness these atrocities of gross negligience... of a severe lacking in civic sense. Spandex is a useful tool but must be used wisely. Inappropriat eusage can cause tremendous and possibly irrepairable damage. So go my young grasshoppers - and experience spandex freely - but carefully...
(oh.. and Kareena Kapoor... yeah - spandex didn't exist when Ashoka was king - SO YOU CAN'T BE WEARING THAT SHIT AND DANCING WITH HIM ON A RAFT IN A MOVIE BASED IN THAT PERIOD OF TIME!
I mean seriously - they took Ashoka... put him no a wooden raft and made him dance with a girl in spandex... r-a-i-g-h-t... I'm sure thats what Ashoka was doing... you know... in between his strategic sessions planning his quest for world domination... "oh! you know what!?... a nice boat ride with a gori in spandex and some dancing will be fun..." ...bhenchot... khassi bana diya uska.)
April 04, 2006
3 / √3 (confused? - well i am...)
ok seriously - I've had it with this. I'm seething right now - yeargh!
You see the fraction in the title above? I first came across this math problem "anomaly" over a year ago when a certain someone, while studying for the GMATs asked me - "what is 3 /√3 ?" I kid you not - This was a serious question. I passed it off then as a comical lapse. You know, you're studying very hard and sometimes the obvious just slips past you. Fair enough. It can happen to anyone. But that wasn't the last of it. It started originally as a lightly humorous joke. Until Arun and I found ourselves joking about it in front of people - and they didn't get it. Thats when the gravity of the situation hit. I started then - to explore (to-date without a solidified answer). I've posed this question to over 40 people now.
Now, I can imagine that some people hate math. I did -in school. Never liked it. I wasn't horrible at it - but I didn't like it. But thats not an excuse. If 2 + 2 = 4 is a fundamental question for a 3 year old then 3 /√3 is a fundamental question for ANY adult. Honestly, I can't believe this is actually an issue for people. BUT IT IS!
*deep breath*
Ok. Pose this question to the next person you meet. Ask them - "what is 3 /√3?" They may look at you for re-assurance that this is not a trick question. You MAY give them that assurance. I'm curious to know the responses you get. Try different audiences - and don't write it down for them. My current theory is that they're having a problem conceptualizing what three divided by the square root of 3 looks like in their head (which is strenuously dumbfounding on a different level).
I did try it on different people. I tried it on co-workers and friends. I brought it up while sharing a cab with people in D.C. or in casual conversations at hotel lobbies or in the gym. So far only TWO people have given me a straight and correct answer without getting flustered. My brother and Arun. My brother won a medal in his 10th boards for Math - so its safe to say his Math is strong. Arun's math is strong too - take my word for it. But do you have to be a math god to know this? I've asked computer science majors who work in esteemed consulting firms, to private business owners, to salespeople to even co-workers of mine in my group who graduated in Engineering from Ivy League schools. NONE OF THEM GOT IT!?
This is not a rocket science question. Nor is this some childish quest to prove to others how smart I am. I'll put it like this. If you know the answer - good... not GREAT... just good. If you don't know it (sigh)... its time to go back to school.
What is it? Is it the way you were taught math? It can't be. I spread my test population across different ethnicities. (Yes, EVEN the indians who studied Math in India - a subject we are so very proud of our success in - FAILED!)
First of all, I can't believe this is an actual test for me now. The best part is I was telling this story to a co-worker today about how you have to be retarded to not know the answer is to 3 /√3. He was looking at me as if it were the funniest thing I'd ever said.
I knew then that he didn't know. I asked him. He said 9. AND because he couldn't conceptualize it in his head, I had to walk thim through it using the laws of exponents.
What is that turns our minds to mush? Is it solar radiation? The spinning Earth? Britney Spears? What... WHAT!? I haven't pinned down a definitive answer yet... but i'm working on it.
By the way - my "mental-midget**" viewers,
- yeah you know who you are -
You can put away your calculators. The answer is √3.
**"Mental-Midget" - a coined Bahel phrase. If you don't understand the phrase - you fall into its category. Pleasingly self-serving :-)
You see the fraction in the title above? I first came across this math problem "anomaly" over a year ago when a certain someone, while studying for the GMATs asked me - "what is 3 /√3 ?" I kid you not - This was a serious question. I passed it off then as a comical lapse. You know, you're studying very hard and sometimes the obvious just slips past you. Fair enough. It can happen to anyone. But that wasn't the last of it. It started originally as a lightly humorous joke. Until Arun and I found ourselves joking about it in front of people - and they didn't get it. Thats when the gravity of the situation hit. I started then - to explore (to-date without a solidified answer). I've posed this question to over 40 people now.
Now, I can imagine that some people hate math. I did -in school. Never liked it. I wasn't horrible at it - but I didn't like it. But thats not an excuse. If 2 + 2 = 4 is a fundamental question for a 3 year old then 3 /√3 is a fundamental question for ANY adult. Honestly, I can't believe this is actually an issue for people. BUT IT IS!
*deep breath*
Ok. Pose this question to the next person you meet. Ask them - "what is 3 /√3?" They may look at you for re-assurance that this is not a trick question. You MAY give them that assurance. I'm curious to know the responses you get. Try different audiences - and don't write it down for them. My current theory is that they're having a problem conceptualizing what three divided by the square root of 3 looks like in their head (which is strenuously dumbfounding on a different level).
I did try it on different people. I tried it on co-workers and friends. I brought it up while sharing a cab with people in D.C. or in casual conversations at hotel lobbies or in the gym. So far only TWO people have given me a straight and correct answer without getting flustered. My brother and Arun. My brother won a medal in his 10th boards for Math - so its safe to say his Math is strong. Arun's math is strong too - take my word for it. But do you have to be a math god to know this? I've asked computer science majors who work in esteemed consulting firms, to private business owners, to salespeople to even co-workers of mine in my group who graduated in Engineering from Ivy League schools. NONE OF THEM GOT IT!?
This is not a rocket science question. Nor is this some childish quest to prove to others how smart I am. I'll put it like this. If you know the answer - good... not GREAT... just good. If you don't know it (sigh)... its time to go back to school.
What is it? Is it the way you were taught math? It can't be. I spread my test population across different ethnicities. (Yes, EVEN the indians who studied Math in India - a subject we are so very proud of our success in - FAILED!)
First of all, I can't believe this is an actual test for me now. The best part is I was telling this story to a co-worker today about how you have to be retarded to not know the answer is to 3 /√3. He was looking at me as if it were the funniest thing I'd ever said.
I knew then that he didn't know. I asked him. He said 9. AND because he couldn't conceptualize it in his head, I had to walk thim through it using the laws of exponents.
What is that turns our minds to mush? Is it solar radiation? The spinning Earth? Britney Spears? What... WHAT!? I haven't pinned down a definitive answer yet... but i'm working on it.
By the way - my "mental-midget**" viewers,
- yeah you know who you are -
You can put away your calculators. The answer is √3.
**"Mental-Midget" - a coined Bahel phrase. If you don't understand the phrase - you fall into its category. Pleasingly self-serving :-)
Modernization!
"The Operations, Maintenance and Development Agreements and the share holders agreements have been signed," India's aviation minister said.
In January, the government announced that the two airports will be leased to private companies. The move was opposed by trade unions and airport employees.
The GMR group, a leading construction firm based in south India, won the contract to modernise Delhi airport along with its German partner Fraport.
Another leading construction company, GVK, won a similar contract for Mumbai airport with Airports Company of South Africa (ACSA)."
- BBC News (www.bbc.co.uk/news)
excellent... this is great news. Hopefully the project will be handled in the same way that the Underground Trains in Delhi were - strategically, efficiently and expeditiously.
In January, the government announced that the two airports will be leased to private companies. The move was opposed by trade unions and airport employees.
The GMR group, a leading construction firm based in south India, won the contract to modernise Delhi airport along with its German partner Fraport.
Another leading construction company, GVK, won a similar contract for Mumbai airport with Airports Company of South Africa (ACSA)."
- BBC News (www.bbc.co.uk/news)
excellent... this is great news. Hopefully the project will be handled in the same way that the Underground Trains in Delhi were - strategically, efficiently and expeditiously.
March 30, 2006
Dilettante
So many blogs have gone by and I am surprised at myself for not having mentioned Thomas Mann. He is the author that caught me off-guard.
Now, several people have favorite authors and/or books and some have favorite moments or sections of books that they are fond of. I only really started reading in college (how very unfortunate for me, yes.) - but Mann is my favorite author.
(Note: I'm not counting The Hardy Boys, Tintin and Asterix as real "reading" as a child.)
After several years of reading numerous books, Thomas Mann surprised me. 'Death in Venice' was the first piece of literature of Mann's that I read and I literally (pun not intended) hung from every one of his words. His diction, sentence structure and grammatical prowess surpassed all others.
"And by beauty we mean simplicity, largeness, and renewed severity of discipline we mean a return to detachment and to form. But detachment, Phaedrus, and preoccupation with form lead to intoxication and desire, they may lead the noblest among us to frightful emotional excesses, which his own stern cult of the beautiful would make him the first to condemn."
But above all - it was the distinction between intellect and art that he perpetuated and studied. His absolutely fascinating characters have limitless depth and draw an unimagineably realistic parallel to life. The best part is, he didn't need a 500 paged novel to achieve this. He did it with his short stories as well.
I didn't truly appreciate the "short story" form until I read some of Hemmingway's and Mann's stories. And now, its almost as though I prefer them over a novel. "The Dilettante" was the first story I read. Coincidentally, "delettante" is my favorite English word -if there is such a thing.
"But what is destroying me is that hope has been destroyed with the destruction of all pleasure in myself. I cease to write, fling the pen from me -- full of disgust, full of disgust! I will make an end of it -- alas, that is an attitude too heroic for a dilettante. In the end I shall go on living, eating, sleeping; I shall gradually get used to the idea that I am dull, that I cut a wretched and ridiculous figure."
His work isn't meant to be an inspiration yet I am always inspired. They aren't your "Tuesday's with Morrie", it's dark and twisted fiction -but brilliant fiction. His literary genius sways me, turns me and leaves me shocked. Which is essentially how he caught me off-guard in the beginning. He surprised me by writing about the THEN not-so-cliche'd theme that - all is NOT necessarily going to end well.
[DO NOT source greek and shakespearean tradgedies in a counter-argument here. There is a difference between a tradgedy and a story of degeneration. Degeneration of the mind, physical being or a society. Unfortunately people apply the word 'tradgedy' to anything these days. If something is sad -"oh, thats tragic" - NO IT'S NOT! It's just f*kin' sad! Thats all. Same thing with the word 'epic' - "oh! titanic was a romantic epic". NO IT'S WASN'T. An epic traditionally means over 10 years. The sh*t needs to go on for over 10 years... not a few hours in the Ocean having cross-social-strata sex. People died -its sad... but its NOT A TRADGEDY EITHER!]
Anyway, I encourage my readers to read a little of what inspires me - Thomas Mann.
March 28, 2006
Indifference
I encourage all to read these words and buy/download the song.
Indifference
I will light the match this morning, so I won't be alone.
Watch as she lies silent, soon night will be gone.
Oh... I will stand arms outstretched, pretend I'm free to roam
Oh... I will make my way, through one more day...
yeahhh...
How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?
I will hold the candle, till it burns up my arm.
Oh.. I'll keep taking punches until their will grows tired.
Oh... I will stare the sundown until my eyes go blind.
Yeah... I won't change direction and I won't change my mind.
How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?
I'll swallow poison, until I grow immune.
I will scream my lungs out, till it fills this room.
How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?
- Pearl Jam
Honestly, in all my years of reading various literary works and listening to a diverse range of music - these are perhaps the most influential words I've ever heard. This is a strong claim considering what all I've seen - but its true. It is, perhaps, purely circumstancial and some may read these words and shrug their shoulder - "umm.. k" being their only reaction.
But its not just the words - its the song - the way Eddie sings it. The undertone. The background music. The importance of the words shines through in his voice. And it all culminates in a blow straight to my chest.
More importantly its the association this band and its music has for me. I remember Joytan introducing me to Pearl Jam - before I really started listening to music. 'Alive' and 'Porch' were their first songs I ever heard. 'Release' followed soon after. Honestly - a song that'll make you cry - "I'll wait up, in the dark... for you to speak to meeee" - oh man!
Post Joytan's introduction and my subsequent indulgence, I found this to be a favorite common ground for Arun and I (amongst 2 billion others). But when we started jamming to this stuff - it was almost like we entered a different world. Within those four walls - Arun masterfully trying hit the right chords on the guitar and I barely being able to measure up to Eddie's voice. This is when we laughed. It wasn't funny. No. It was just so satisfying that we laughed. What else does one do when you are fully content. Smile? yeah... we laughed. We loved it. We didn't need clever quips on ignoramus individuals (as that usually is the case) to laugh.
These are the memories that I hope I'm never stripped of. These are the benchmarks I will use to identify levels of happiness on a going-forward basis. Right from crouching in front of Joy's laptop to jamming at Arun's.
June 3rd is so far away.
Indifference
I will light the match this morning, so I won't be alone.
Watch as she lies silent, soon night will be gone.
Oh... I will stand arms outstretched, pretend I'm free to roam
Oh... I will make my way, through one more day...
yeahhh...
How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?
I will hold the candle, till it burns up my arm.
Oh.. I'll keep taking punches until their will grows tired.
Oh... I will stare the sundown until my eyes go blind.
Yeah... I won't change direction and I won't change my mind.
How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?
I'll swallow poison, until I grow immune.
I will scream my lungs out, till it fills this room.
How much difference - does it make?
How much difference - does it make?
- Pearl Jam
Honestly, in all my years of reading various literary works and listening to a diverse range of music - these are perhaps the most influential words I've ever heard. This is a strong claim considering what all I've seen - but its true. It is, perhaps, purely circumstancial and some may read these words and shrug their shoulder - "umm.. k" being their only reaction.
But its not just the words - its the song - the way Eddie sings it. The undertone. The background music. The importance of the words shines through in his voice. And it all culminates in a blow straight to my chest.
More importantly its the association this band and its music has for me. I remember Joytan introducing me to Pearl Jam - before I really started listening to music. 'Alive' and 'Porch' were their first songs I ever heard. 'Release' followed soon after. Honestly - a song that'll make you cry - "I'll wait up, in the dark... for you to speak to meeee" - oh man!
Post Joytan's introduction and my subsequent indulgence, I found this to be a favorite common ground for Arun and I (amongst 2 billion others). But when we started jamming to this stuff - it was almost like we entered a different world. Within those four walls - Arun masterfully trying hit the right chords on the guitar and I barely being able to measure up to Eddie's voice. This is when we laughed. It wasn't funny. No. It was just so satisfying that we laughed. What else does one do when you are fully content. Smile? yeah... we laughed. We loved it. We didn't need clever quips on ignoramus individuals (as that usually is the case) to laugh.
These are the memories that I hope I'm never stripped of. These are the benchmarks I will use to identify levels of happiness on a going-forward basis. Right from crouching in front of Joy's laptop to jamming at Arun's.
June 3rd is so far away.
March 24, 2006
...a darker thought
Sell me a flower more beautiful
Than the one beside me now
And I’ll pay you with my life.
Find me a darker thought
Than the one I hold each night
And I’ll give you my flower
For you need it more than I.
(i wrote his a while ago... a long while ago)
Than the one beside me now
And I’ll pay you with my life.
Find me a darker thought
Than the one I hold each night
And I’ll give you my flower
For you need it more than I.
(i wrote his a while ago... a long while ago)
March 22, 2006
...ode to apocalypse
Apocalypse now - a realization very late in the day.
I've determined that the year of 2006 is an antonym to existence. Everything is the other way around - well - maybe I'm pushing it and the trite philosophical discussion that everyone is familiar with may ensue but still -
majority becomes minority -minority becomes majority (Hammas in Palestine)
-Delhi wasn't as cold as it was in 70 years - in December!
-New York wasn't as warm as it was in 35 years - in December!
Tidal waves, suicide bombings, mass destruction, unethical voting results, increasing CO2 levels, decreasing O2 levels, increasing populations, increasing births, increasing deaths - most disturbingly- increasing indifference.
All this is lovely to say and feel in a blog. I am "moved" by this. Tomorrow you and I will forget this happened and pursue our own happiness - we HOPE... NOT at the cost of someone else - but if it happens... then "such is life" will be our motto for the day. Perhaps I presume too much by bring "you" into my world. But I certainly will not shy away from the fact that I live, breathe and act based on the knowledge that for one man to succeed perhaps many will have to fail. Such is my code. Such is my burden. Such is my joy. Such gives me perspective. "Such" makes things relative. Such is life.
It is depressing to think that the phrase "such is life" is its own justification - applicable and implemented by most -whether "you" like it or not.
majority becomes minority -minority becomes majority (Hammas in Palestine)
-Delhi wasn't as cold as it was in 70 years - in December!
-New York wasn't as warm as it was in 35 years - in December!
Tidal waves, suicide bombings, mass destruction, unethical voting results, increasing CO2 levels, decreasing O2 levels, increasing populations, increasing births, increasing deaths - most disturbingly- increasing indifference.
All this is lovely to say and feel in a blog. I am "moved" by this. Tomorrow you and I will forget this happened and pursue our own happiness - we HOPE... NOT at the cost of someone else - but if it happens... then "such is life" will be our motto for the day. Perhaps I presume too much by bring "you" into my world. But I certainly will not shy away from the fact that I live, breathe and act based on the knowledge that for one man to succeed perhaps many will have to fail. Such is my code. Such is my burden. Such is my joy. Such gives me perspective. "Such" makes things relative. Such is life.
It is depressing to think that the phrase "such is life" is its own justification - applicable and implemented by most -whether "you" like it or not.
March 21, 2006
india as a subject?
If you happened to read the Times of India Online print recently (once you get passed its 4 billion pop-ups) I saw an interesting article.
Harvard University (yes, the very prestigious one in Boston, MA) is going to have "India" as a subject. (Right here you do the Scooby-Doo impression "huh?". Thats right.
The following is a direct excerpt from the article:
[America’s oldest institution of higher learning, Harvard University, will soon have India as a subject. And teachers will include visiting faculty members like Nobel laureate Amartya Sen, Gardiner professor of history at Harvard Sugata Bose and Harvard Business School professor Tarun Khanna. In an exclusive interview to TOI , Harvard University's outgoing president, Lawrence Summers, said: "Like people study political science, culture, public health, economics, law and medicine, students in Harvard will now study India as a subject."]
I don't know what the F*CK that means... "like people study political science, culture, public health... NOW we will study India as a subject". HUH? What are you talking about dumbass?
Do you mean - The history of India? or Indian Philosophy? Religion in India? Economic Progess in India? (mind you, these are the broadest friggin' topics on the planet). 'INDIA' is an EVEN broader subject. So wait... there will be India 101- will you start with British India? or no wait, divided India before that. Perhaps when Ashoka conquered most of it? - when India was unified for the first time?... when the concept of "India" came about? But no no no wait... (and thats the point - we can go back and forth all day)
Whats more is - can one graduate with a B.S. in India? What about a PhD? Like an economist or an anthropologist... will one be an 'Indianist'... or like a historian - 'Indianorian'
Bravo! "We want to make people more aware of India". Newsflash genius - EVERYONE already knows about India.... only A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N-S don't know about India. Which is why perhaps you should have a course called - "The World"... not "India". Moron.
Lets analyze "more people aware of India" - hmm... Indians certainly know about India so thats 1/6th of the population of the world. Chineese definitely know about it... we're next to them, which means another 1/6. We're already at 1/3rd of the Planet being "aware" of India (thats 33.33%). Since Indians live all over Africa and Europe (we spilled over, yes.) and mind you, I have met enough Indians from Ghana, Ethiopia, South Africa, England, Germany etc. I've met enough indigenious people from those places as well - and they know India... f*ck.. they know bloody Amitabh Bachhan and Shah Rukh Khan for godsake! They know songs from the 50's. They know our wedding customs - they know a lot. And lets not forget the Indian presence in the Middle East. All-in-all you're looking at hmm... 90% of the planet being VERY aware of India. The remaining is the pacific islanders, you know - Gilligan's of the world... and lastly... America.
Like I said before - perhaps you should call your course "The World" and not "India".
Dumbass.
Harvard University (yes, the very prestigious one in Boston, MA) is going to have "India" as a subject. (Right here you do the Scooby-Doo impression "huh?". Thats right.
The following is a direct excerpt from the article:
[America’s oldest institution of higher learning, Harvard University, will soon have India as a subject. And teachers will include visiting faculty members like Nobel laureate Amartya Sen, Gardiner professor of history at Harvard Sugata Bose and Harvard Business School professor Tarun Khanna. In an exclusive interview to TOI , Harvard University's outgoing president, Lawrence Summers, said: "Like people study political science, culture, public health, economics, law and medicine, students in Harvard will now study India as a subject."]
I don't know what the F*CK that means... "like people study political science, culture, public health... NOW we will study India as a subject". HUH? What are you talking about dumbass?
Do you mean - The history of India? or Indian Philosophy? Religion in India? Economic Progess in India? (mind you, these are the broadest friggin' topics on the planet). 'INDIA' is an EVEN broader subject. So wait... there will be India 101- will you start with British India? or no wait, divided India before that. Perhaps when Ashoka conquered most of it? - when India was unified for the first time?... when the concept of "India" came about? But no no no wait... (and thats the point - we can go back and forth all day)
Whats more is - can one graduate with a B.S. in India? What about a PhD? Like an economist or an anthropologist... will one be an 'Indianist'... or like a historian - 'Indianorian'
Bravo! "We want to make people more aware of India". Newsflash genius - EVERYONE already knows about India.... only A-M-E-R-I-C-A-N-S don't know about India. Which is why perhaps you should have a course called - "The World"... not "India". Moron.
Lets analyze "more people aware of India" - hmm... Indians certainly know about India so thats 1/6th of the population of the world. Chineese definitely know about it... we're next to them, which means another 1/6. We're already at 1/3rd of the Planet being "aware" of India (thats 33.33%). Since Indians live all over Africa and Europe (we spilled over, yes.) and mind you, I have met enough Indians from Ghana, Ethiopia, South Africa, England, Germany etc. I've met enough indigenious people from those places as well - and they know India... f*ck.. they know bloody Amitabh Bachhan and Shah Rukh Khan for godsake! They know songs from the 50's. They know our wedding customs - they know a lot. And lets not forget the Indian presence in the Middle East. All-in-all you're looking at hmm... 90% of the planet being VERY aware of India. The remaining is the pacific islanders, you know - Gilligan's of the world... and lastly... America.
Like I said before - perhaps you should call your course "The World" and not "India".
Dumbass.
March 15, 2006
June 3rd, 2006
Who has Pearl Jam tickets for June 3rd, 2006?
this guy.......
thats right!
.......this guy
(sporadic dancing ensues)
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